I guess this is pretty stupid.
It feels pretty stupid, as I don’t blog anymore and all.
Stupid, huh?
I’m not doing so great, guys. I’m in my last year of school now. I hate practically all the girls in my school, and 97 percent of the boys as well. I feel like an outcast. I’m involved/not involved with this guy who has a girlfriend and it makes me feel like a worthless piece of.. ah. And what’s more? I feel like I can’t even get out. But I can’t complain, I am the one after all who always said that she didn’t want a relationship as to avoid getting hurt. ..That plan evidently isn’t working out so well. I am so near the brink now and I just need someone to take me, head on, and give me a solution. It’s almost as if I’m surrounded by this aura of self loathing when I’m alone.
Why does every fucking person say it will get better? It doesn’t. It hasn’t. 3 years on and I’m still suffering from depression. I’m still suffering from bulimia. Struggling with self hate. Turning to alcohol every now and again. I am just, just so drained. Have you ever been in that state of mind where you don’t know if you need company or space? I’m at that stop right about now.
I don’t know what else to type.
My Own Little Secret 
Each day I write one thing I am grateful for, even when there is nothing on the surface.
I dig deep and learn to love myself again.
It takes so much time.
It is OK to feel anger, pain, loneliness and all the things you’d rather not feel.
After years of writing and focusing on all the bad I stopped, I decided to change my approach and write a positive thought a day, no matter how teeny tiny and unimportant.
I wish I could help more with solutions.
The simplest way is to become your own solution. Teeny tiny steps towards what you want 🙂