Please

Coronary Heart Disease HERE I COME

FIRSTLY, please don’t judge me for posting at 4am. I have had a HECTIC day. Let me explain:

Okay, I’ll go in order of time. This morning, I woke up after having a dream that ..I got married to Thierry. I know, it’s weird. No, not weird. Fucking creepy and psychopathic. Like what the fuck Ceola, get a grip. If I were Thierry I’d be fucking SPRINTING away like Usain Bolt for chicken or some shit. Anyway. So that was weird, I’m intrigued as to what I’ll feel when I see him at Joe’s on Saturday. Hopefully not marriage proposal. That would just be embarrassing. God, how do I have friends?

More importantly, the date. Well we got drinks, I slurped mine at super human rate and was finished within minutes which probably made me look like woman vs food or something. Despite that though, I think it went well! He held the door for me, which for me is a huge plus point. We talked for about 2/3 hours which was lovely. He’s so hot. Hotter than I remembered. His shoulders are HUGE. Excuse me while I drool, I don’t want my dribble to get into the keyboard and for the laptop to fizz up and explode.

*drools*

Afterwards I saw my friend for dinner, Freya. But GUESS who we passed by. Dow. For any of you who haven’t read this blog before, Dow was obsessed with me for about 2 years (..he had never met me, yet he was obsessed – he always texted me..), and a few weeks ago we met. I ran away, but he called me up, being excessively rude and proceeded to make me cry. Chaaaarming. Anyway, so I ignored him again, and he’s making bitchy tweets about me.. I don’t understand guys like that. Why does he feel the need to be so rude for no reason? I mean, I’m absolutely happy to be civil with him, but it’s like he feels the need to relight a fire that as far as I’m concerned was put out a long, long time ago. Have you ever had that? It’s like he’s thriving off the aftermath of the forest fire. It’s finished, but in it’s absence he’s desperately attempting to relight it. 

Dinner was nice, nevertheless. We had Chinese take-out and beer. I actually hate beer, I don’t know why I drank it. It leaves a sickly bitter taste in my mouth that just makes me want to spew chunks everywhere if I’m being quite honest. I hadn’t seen Freya in so long, I was beginning to think we weren’t good friends anymore. Afterwards we went and sat on the grass outside with ice cream. Then it got cold, so we went and got hot chocolate. I’m pretty sure i’ll have gained around eighty three pounds by tomorrow by the amount I’ve eaten today. I had that awkward moment when I went to unbutton my shorts, only to realise that they were already unbuttoned and I had just eaten LOADS. Tried to style it out, as if I had gone to unwedgie myself. It failed.

Other than all that though, my day has been good! I haven’t talked to Thierry. Nor have I talked to Maurice that much. I’ll text Maurice now, he always brightens me up a bit; by the amount of complaining I’m doing in this blog I’m probably sounding like a manic depressive. I’m going to go have a midnight feast now, and gain another sixteen pounds. Coronary heart disease HERE I COME.