Gigs, Guys, and Gooches.

Today was so eventful. It should have been so, so good. It should have.

I met up with my friend Naomi and we sat and talked for ages. We then bumped into two other “popular” girls from my school, Assisi and Alex, and we all sat and talked for so long; it was lovely. Me and Naomi then sat and ate SO many sweets and laughed for ages in the rain. When with Naomi, we bumped into some guys from my school: Dom, Ferdinand, Phelim and Christian. Christian had kissed Anastasia the previous day, they’re on the verge of having a thing. I said to Christian “I know what you’re thinking” when everyone was talking, he went bright red. This was the stem of why my day turned into a spiralling pit of doom.

Later on, when I’m gone, Christian tells his friends that he kissed Katie when they ask what I meant by my passing comment. Apparently then lots of people found out, and it aaall became my fault according to Anastasia (and Catherine, a “friend” of mine who’s actually a psychotic bitch, I pretend to like her to avoid conflict).

Anastasia and I had an argument for my ..passing comment.. and Catherine got involved and made me cry. “You have no integrity” she said, “you’ve ruined your and Anastasia’s friendship” she said, “you’re so unbelievably immature” she said. I was so angry, how dare she?! I made a comment that I thought to be barely noticeable and suddenly the fact that Christian told his friends is all my fault. YOU WEREN’T EVEN THERE CATHERINE YOU FAT BITCH GO BACK TO LIVING IN YOUR DAIRY RIDDEN FRIDGE.

What. The. Fuck.

I was SO pissed off. I took Anastasia out of my bbm name, and didn’t reply to her. Christian had somehow managed to twist the situation to be my fault, what the fuck happened to “hoes before bro’s”?! WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO GIRL CODE?! I was being blamed convicted for making a passing comment, it wouldn’t have escalated if Christian hadn’t chosen for it to do so. I really don’t like Christian, Anastasia knows that. I wouldn’t trust him as far as I could throw him. Into a roundabout. And a car crash. Which had just exploded.

It upset me most, as Catherine called me selfish. This set my temper off, as this is the one thing I always have aimed not to be and she just threw that back in my face. It also annoyed me as Anastasia apologised, and then phoned Catherine to presumably bitch about me – like what is the point of apologising then? It was like she just found a new way to channel her hate.

It was even more upsetting as I knew I couldn’t tell anyone, as I would be accused of “escalating the situation”, however hypocritical that would be. Just previous to this argument, I had been offered my first gig ever. It annoyed me that happiness down was being so casually beaten down with a stick, as if it didn’t matter that this was so important to me, and that this could be the start of my future. It annoys me as now this is going to be the way I remember being offered my first gig, a bitchy argument that killed my vibe when I was so, unbelievably over the moon. 

So that annoyed me.

But on a brighter note, I GOT MY FIRST GIG EVER! I’ll be performing on July 6th, I’m so excited. I can’t believe I have a gig with my own music! 3 years of work on my own style of music and NOW WE HERE. I’m still happy, despite the ongoings that occurred earlier in my evening.

I’m not annoyed anymore, I’m distracting myself with musical thoughts.My conclusion to this rant is: music is my therapist. And if you’ve actually read down this far? Thankyou for listening, it’s nice to know someone does.