Unknown 

There are none so blind as those who don’t want to see.

Something I Learnt

You are still the same human that you were before they graffitied the walls of your mind.

Remember that.

2 Years On

It’s been around 2 years since I’ve posted on this blog. 

As I’m writing this, it’s 6:44am and as per usual I’m sitting with my back against the bathroom door. Old habits die hard, eh? I’ve always liked bathrooms, it’s the one place I find my family won’t barge in. Private, you know?

I’m 19 now, nearly 20. Since my last post I’ve had 1.5 heart breaks, read a whole lot of books, and learnt how to make (albeit depressingly average) macaroni cheese.

I don’t know who’s reading this, or if anyone is. If someone is, then I hope you’re having a good day.

Signing out, Ceola x 

Honesty

Okay it’s not that I have something wrong with me, as fucked up as this blog is. It’s just I take everything personally. The smallest thing will get to me, from a joke about my hair to something I say. And when it gets to me I do get really sad, and I don’t really know why.

I guess it really gets to me when my “group” don’t invite me out. I guess I’m kind of stuck between 2 groups, it’s weird. It gets to me though. It’s like, I’m just as much of a person as you are and we spend every lunch together.. WHAT is your problem? Just because I’m not as hot as the others, seriously?

And when stuff goes wrong I do lose control and hurt myself. It’s not a craving though, it’s more like in frustration. A release of tension. And I do have problems eating, I know that too. I get worried and angry and I’m hugely oversensitive and complicated. I get paranoid and hold grudges sometimes, overprotective too, and jealous. I’m probably quite annoying, and too hyper.

But you know what at least I’m honest about it. At least I don’t pretend to be something I’m not in a group of people and I’ll say what I feel and when I feel it. At least I’m not one of those people who exclude others and act like nothing happened.

And I may be fucked up, but at least I’m honest about it.

Ships

Our first steps,
Pacing pavements,
And then she,
Of crowds oblivious,
In passing beggars,
She waltzed,
They danced,
Then he was gone,
Taking the sand,
Into the floor,
Never found